Saturday, May 9, 2009

Better Days

Ok I have too much going on in my head right now. The past year has been such a learning experience. I have to learn to go with my instincts. I know when a person is of no value to my life and sometimes I keep them around waaaay too long. I truly have high expectations for people and when they don't meet them, it upsets me. I try not to be judgmental and let people live their lives but I can not stand stupidity. Granted from the outside looking in, you never really know what is going on with someone.

As I am exploring what issues I have, I am learning that I could be more patient with people. One of my friends said that you never know if you will be my friend one day to the next. I do not want anyone to feel like that but at the same time I expect a lot from the people that surround me. My parents frustrate me as well. I told my mom I am her BEST child and I feel that I am. When in doubt I read Psalm 27. I have become more spiritual and I will not let anyone stop me from doing what I feel I need to do in life. So even when my parents are on my nerves, GOD is there with the best support system ever.

I talk about God with anyone who knows anything about the Bible. I feel like you have to believe in something. I have prayed for things to happen and they have with no effort on my part. I know he's real. I have also learned to be careful what I say and think because thoughts come to light. I pray for what I need and not want. Prayer is very powerful and after losing Angel I never thought I would say that. However, I know when I ask the Lord to hear me and search my heart, he does. Reading the Bible also makes me want to be a better person, it just gets hard some days. I am being the best Velenda I can be though.

Friendship and what it means drives me crazy. I was use to having good friends and somewhere along the line, I found that I could not trust people anymore. I always say a friendship should be reciprocal and it should. I can be mean but I love my friemds. I feel like good friends is equivalent to family. That's why I cut people off so quick. If I can not trust you to have my best interest at heart, you can not be in my life. Over the years I have overlooked some things because I know I can be petty but I can not tolerate FAKE people around me. I love the close friends I have even though they drive me crazy :) I am implementing a serious screening for the next person(s) who enter my life. I am so tired of crazy and drama. Too blessed to be stressed :)

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