Letting Go....

I am finally realizing that I MUST let go of all the anger I carry. I have had minor set backs in life but I need to get over it. I have a chip on my shoulder about some things but also realize I put too much faith in people. I know that GOD is the only one who always follows through. I have a sadness about me because I don't have everything I want. I am blessed and I know it so I try not to complain too much.

God created something special and I know this. I am not being conceited but I know God has big things in store for me. I'm just impatient and a lil crazy :). Working on this attitude is my top priority and I know the devil tries his best to bring me down. I rebuke the devil in Jesus Name, Amen. All that being said don't let people detour your plans.

Prerequisites

Let me just say the next man in my life is going through a thorough screening process. In the past I have tried to keep an open mind and not judge books by their covers. No more. I am 28 years old and it is time to find my companion, best friend, life partner, and husband?? I would love to get married but I do not need the paper, just the commitment. This is the longest I have ever been single and it gave me time to prioritize. I am willing to accept 14 out of 16 but Men step your game up. I do not need a dependent, I need a companion.

He MUST:
Have some kind of spirituality-He doesn't have to be Bible toting but needs to know the Lord. Recognize that there is a higher power and respect that I believe in GOD and try to live by his word.

Job-Need I say more?

Education-He needs to stimulate my mind. I need book smart & a lil street smart.

Home-Uh I know times are rough but you can not live with your mother.

Car-Yeah I'm tired of compromising on this one. Oh I don't do hood cars :)

Music-I listen to music all day & night. I need a man who is into music, don't care about the genre.

Travel-I need a vacation (c)Jeezy. Lol, no really he has to be willing to travel.

Sense of Humor-I am so hilarious so I need someone to make me laugh, this is a must.

Ok Looking-I'm trying not to be so shallow. But stay in your league.

Honest-Don't do liars. No need to lie to me b/c WHEN you get caught, it's a rap.

Loyal-This is a big deal, I have to have loyalty.

Some style-I can appreciate a white tee w/ a fresh hat & matching tennis shoes. I will quickly correct a fashion no-no.

Respect Their Mom-If you don't respect your mother, you will not respect me.

Values-Believe in right and wrong.

Goals-I'm making moves so I need someone to grow with.

Personality-Must

I could write what I don't want but why? This is on a per case basis, lol. Oh and I am asking 20 questions about the past, maybe more. I can not deal with emotional baggage. I destroyed my suitcases the other day.

Better Days

Ok I have too much going on in my head right now. The past year has been such a learning experience. I have to learn to go with my instincts. I know when a person is of no value to my life and sometimes I keep them around waaaay too long. I truly have high expectations for people and when they don't meet them, it upsets me. I try not to be judgmental and let people live their lives but I can not stand stupidity. Granted from the outside looking in, you never really know what is going on with someone.

As I am exploring what issues I have, I am learning that I could be more patient with people. One of my friends said that you never know if you will be my friend one day to the next. I do not want anyone to feel like that but at the same time I expect a lot from the people that surround me. My parents frustrate me as well. I told my mom I am her BEST child and I feel that I am. When in doubt I read Psalm 27. I have become more spiritual and I will not let anyone stop me from doing what I feel I need to do in life. So even when my parents are on my nerves, GOD is there with the best support system ever.

I talk about God with anyone who knows anything about the Bible. I feel like you have to believe in something. I have prayed for things to happen and they have with no effort on my part. I know he's real. I have also learned to be careful what I say and think because thoughts come to light. I pray for what I need and not want. Prayer is very powerful and after losing Angel I never thought I would say that. However, I know when I ask the Lord to hear me and search my heart, he does. Reading the Bible also makes me want to be a better person, it just gets hard some days. I am being the best Velenda I can be though.

Friendship and what it means drives me crazy. I was use to having good friends and somewhere along the line, I found that I could not trust people anymore. I always say a friendship should be reciprocal and it should. I can be mean but I love my friemds. I feel like good friends is equivalent to family. That's why I cut people off so quick. If I can not trust you to have my best interest at heart, you can not be in my life. Over the years I have overlooked some things because I know I can be petty but I can not tolerate FAKE people around me. I love the close friends I have even though they drive me crazy :) I am implementing a serious screening for the next person(s) who enter my life. I am so tired of crazy and drama. Too blessed to be stressed :)

Welcome!!!

While I am absolutely sure that this blog is going to get me in trouble, I need to write. I keep a journal so I guess I will writing twice but it's therapeutic. I am awaiting my freedom right now. I need to move from my current living arrangement. That will be a separate blog :) I am trying to work on this bad attitude I have and it is a journey. I did a survey asking the people closest to me about my attitude and it was eye opening. I have been trying for years to become a better person but PEOPLE truly irritate me. Anyway I do not want people to walk on eggshells I actually appreciate honesty. So follow me as I work on myself. Suggestions are welcomed but if you know me, I probably wont listen. Work In Progress............

P.S. If you don't already have it, you can purchase my book @ http://stores.lulu.com/anisearies